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Newton Burgoland Primary School

Newton Burgoland Primary School

Together We Can Achieve Excellence

Promoting Good Behaviour At Home

All children will challenge the boundaries set by parents and schools-this is normal. However, all children need to know that there are boundaries and expectations and that these are fair and consistent (both parents), without consistent  boundaries children are unsettled and may feel unsafe.

You child will not behave well if they are unwell or tried; learning at school is hard work- it is supposed to be so your child needs to get to bed at at a reasonable time every day.  

The Sleep Council How Much Sleep Does My Child Need?

Information above from: https://sleepcouncil.org.uk/how-much-sleep-does-my-child-need/

learners in class 1 and 2 should be in bed and asleep by 7pm if they are getting up at 7 the next day.

Learners in class 4 should be in bed  and asleep by 9pm at the latest.

Without sleep your child will not be ready to learn. After school activities are great but sleep is vital and changes to routines at the weekend or in holidays do not help you child to be happy and well.

SUPPORT FOR BEHAVIOUR THAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED

Please use this information alongside the Behaviour that Needs to Changed document, see below: -

  • Child and Parent Agreement
  • Tokens and Rewards
  • Family Communication Box

What behaviour do you want to try to change?- one at a time.

When does this behaviour occur and why? What is your child gaining?

What do you normally do when this behaviour occurs?

Choose a behaviour that is observable and not an assumption of what your child may be doing.  Think about, “What is my son/daughter gaining by displaying this behaviour”.

For Example: -

  • Having a temper tantrum before bedtime may mean your child has been able to stay up later, which is what they were aiming for. You choose to take away a favourite toy or a treat.
  • Acting out anger and frustration in the presence of other family members or friends to gain your attention or to stop you from having a night out. You choose to take away a favourite toy or a treat.

It is possible that you are spending a lot of time managing the negative behaviour and that you are following a regular pattern of behaviour, consequence (adult given- what the child loses from the behaviour), reward (what the child gains from the behaviour). Sometimes the reward is just a familiar pattern which, although negative is reassuring and safe because it is always the same- it is predictable and the child is in control.

Reframing

Focus on desired behaviour and create a reward system for these. Name the desired character habit.

  • Fantastic independence- you got yourself dressed without a reminder
  • Super listening- you cleaned your teeth as soon as I asked/ turned the TV off etc
  • Great organisation- you got all your equipment and clothes ready
  • Amazing concentration- you got all your homework done

Never take earned tokens away.

Earned tokens are traded for a reward, something that matters to your child.

            Eg: 1 token = 1 minute of screen time

Remember the consequence of not doing is no reward it is not necessary to threaten to take away or to take away anything else.

If your child chooses to have a melt down calmly allow them to do something different to your usual response. Pick up a book and read it, put some music on and sing along- ignore the behaviour but supervise and appear to be engrossed in something else.

If your child chooses not to do homework we will not judge you- your child will have to manage the consequences in school of not doing.

After the behaviour has stopped and your child is doing something else.

Approach your child at the same level by sitting on a chair or kneeling down but respecting their personal space. (It is better if one parent deals with this but try to be united in keeping to the rules and sharing the responsibility)

Acknowledge their anger but say how this behaviour is not acceptable and how this has upset his /her siblings or mummy and daddy and ask for an apology.

Apologise if you feel that you made a mistake.